Adoption Uncovered

Seeing double stripes on a plastic wand can invoke an amazing array of emotions. On the positive side can be happiness, or in some cases, where pregnancy has been a hard-won goal, elation. When plans did not include a baby, mental gears can start churning. Maybe money is tight and there are other mouths to feed. Maybe violence or fear is a part of the world this baby might enter and the woman seeing those parallel lines doesn’t know a way to protect the child or herself. Possibly, there is an education or a career that the woman doesn’t want to set aside. There is a small percentage of women in these circumstances who offer their children to other families to raise. One estimate is that .5% of births lead to the child being adopted into another family. (1) Even though the women who choose this are rare, there are many families waiting for each baby in this circumstance. Some estimates say that as many as 36 families are available to adopt each baby that is offered for adoption. (2)

This imbalance has left a crack in the system through which slippery players have found their way. There are many professionals who are involved in various roles when it comes to moving a baby from one family to another. To complicate things each state tends to have its own rule book and lineup of employment options with a huge range of legitimacy. Some states require licensure while others are more lax. The vast difference may not have mattered in the past when adoptions were limited to the people you could see in person or call over the phone. With the advent of the internet, making nationwide connections easy and fast, adoptions over state lines are becoming very common. The lack of consistency means that loopholes gape for those incentivised to find them. When people are willing to take advantage of adoption, everyone involved suffers, though that can look different depending on who you are in this system

First Mothers

There are a variety of ways agencies or others who are trying to take advantage of adoption can manipulate birth mothers. Often, the women who are considering adoption already have children.(3) They might be overwhelmed by financial issues or a partner who is not supportive. Knowing another child is coming can add to the stew of chaos already in the mind of a young mother who feels alone. If adoption crosses the woman’s mind and they inquire, the agency or facilitator might be incredibly persistent in wooing them and their child. (4)

Facilitators might promise visitation or other ongoing connection with the child they part with, even though in most states there are no regulations available that a first mother can access to enforce this connection. (5) If a mother gives in to the offer of the facilitator, those who are trying to make the adoption happen might push a mother to finish the process quickly, before she has the chance to change her mind. Sometimes they might take a mother across state lines to an area of the country that makes her decision permanent faster. (6) The variety of state regulations comes into play much more often today when travel is easier than it was decades ago and the internet connects facilitators with potential clients all over the country. (7) For example, a mother from Oklahoma will have no recourse or option to change her mind once she chooses to sign papers relinquishing her parental rights. Whereas a mother from Minnesota will be allowed a waiting period before she has to decide if she wants to relinquish her rights, and she will have a revocation period beyond that. (8) Some facilitators take advantage of these laws by moving a birth mother from the state she lives in across borders into a state with more lenient laws to enable a quicker transfer. (9)

Adoptive Parents

Women who are pressured into a decision they later regret are not the only people who suffer at the hands of corrupt adoption facilitators and agencies. Those seeking to adopt are put in a vulnerable position as well. 

Domestic baby adoption is not an inexpensive endeavor for parents even if they are going through a reputable agency or lawyer. Unlicensed facilitators might charge a fee of up to $20,000 even before they start tacking on home studies and background checks. (These fees might be collected without giving the adoptive family much information and demanding quick answers about potential matches. (10) Then, once the money has changed hands, adoptive parents may be left without the child they were expecting to join their family. 

Sometimes, corrupt facilitators might promise one child to more than one family or even connect adoptive families with completely fictitious birth mothers or children. (11)

Possible Solutions

Awareness of this type of scam is a useful first step, but especially those women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and overwhelmed may not be in a position to make informed decisions about what to do. Some state governments are taking action

Anne Moody, a former social worker and adoption agency owner as well as the author of two books pointing out the flaws in adoption and corruption among facilitators, suggests country-wide standards for adoption to help alleviate confusion. 

“We need to establish national adoption law. Now that we have people going from state to state to adopt, which is probably the norm now, most of my families get babies from out of state, get connected to birth parents in a different state. Statistically, that’s just how it happens.

And the state laws vary so much, and the ethics behind those state laws have such different interpretations that it’s really hard to know if you’re an adoptive family going to Florida for an adoption, what goes in Florida and what doesn’t. I can’t understand why this should be a state’s issue anyway. It seems so clear that we should have national standards, that everybody knows what’s okay and what’s not.” (12)

She also suggests standards for the credentials workers receive to cut down on unlicensed people facilitating adoptions without any oversight. 

From the local neighbors taking care of children in their village to an interconnected country that communicates instantly via the internet, adoption is part of a rapidly changing landscape. State laws vary widely and contribute to confusing the process even though adoptions often take place across state lines. Bad actors are taking advantage of this gap and abusing women, children, and families on all sides of this issue. It will likely take action on a grand scale to solve this issue. Until there is enough energy to push the problem into the spotlight, lawyers will probably be left mopping up each case while another mess is made. 

Social understanding needs to change from the chipper refrain, “Oh, you can always adopt,” to an understanding that adoption is far more than building a family in an alternative method. Adoption should be seen in all of its complexity rather than as a beautifully simple solution.

Sources

1. Sisson, Gretchen. “Estimating the annual domestic adoption rate and lifetime incidence of infant relinquishment in the United States.” Science Direct, Jan. 2022, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010782421003528.
2. “How Many Couples are Waiting to Adopt a Baby?” American Adoptions, http://www.americanadoptions.com/pregnant/waiting_adoptive_families .
3. Sisson, Gretchen. “Who are the women who relinquish infants for adoption? Domestic adoption and contemporary birth motherhood in the United States.” Pubmed , 9 May 2022, pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35532358/ .
4. Lurie, Julia. “Watch: A Mother’s Journey Through a Devastating Adoption System.” Mother Jones, 11 July 2025, http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/07/utah-brighter-adoptions-pbs-news-hour/.
5. Swanson-Kyriaco, Angie. “A Birthmother Reflects: The Perpetuation of Adoption Myths.” Petrie-Flom.law.harvard.edu, 10 May 2022, petrieflom.law.harvard.edu/2022/05/10/a-birthmother-reflects-the-perpetuation-of-adoption-myths/.
6. Lurie, Julia. “Agencies accused of rushing adoptions before mothers can change their minds.” PBS.org, 10 July 2025, http://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/agencies-accused-of-rushing-adoptions-before-mothers-can-change-their-minds.
7. Cohensedgh, Daniella. “The Pressure for Birth Mothers Facing Poverty To Give Their Child Up for Adoption .” Law.Georgetown.edu, 11 Oct. 2023, http://www.law.georgetown.edu/poverty-journal/blog/the-pressure-for-birth-mothers-facing-poverty-to-give-their-child-up-for-adoption/ .
8. “Adoption Consent and Revocation.” adoptchange.org, 2026, http://www.adoptchange.org/adoption-consent-and-revocation-laws.
9. Taddonio, Patrice. “‘Incredibly Transactional’: How Agencies & Brokers Lure Pregnant Women Across State Lines for ‘Adoption Tourism’.” pbs.org, 23 June 2026, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/agencies-adoption-tourism-baby-brokers-investigation-documentary/ .
10. Liversidge,, Celeste, and Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard. “Stepping Out of Adoption’s Shadow.” adoptioncouncil.org, 10 Nov. 2023, adoptioncouncil.org/publications/baby-brokers/ .
11. “Adoption Fraud .” fbi.gov, 2026, http://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety/common-frauds-and-scams/adoption-fraud.
12. Spiering, Charlyn. “Facing the Pitfalls and Possibilities of Adoption With Anne Moody.” Adoption Uncovered, 26 May 2026, adoptionuncovered.com/2026/05/26/facing-the-pitfalls-and-possibilities-of-adoption-with-anne-moody/.