Adoptees can struggle in many ways. Beyond complicated emotions around belonging and identity, they may find that their legal identity is also in jeopardy. The citizenship they took for granted growing up sometimes doesn’t exist. This is one of the many types of legal issues that Gregory Luce helps adoptees face. He founded the Adoptee…
Seeing double stripes on a plastic wand can invoke an amazing array of emotions. On the positive side can be happiness, or in some cases, where pregnancy has been a hard-won goal, elation. When plans did not include a baby, mental gears can start churning. Maybe money is tight and there are other mouths to…
Anne Moody did not start her career with a focus on adoption. She grew up in an age when orphan stories were common and superficial. As she got more involved with adoption, facilitating connections between mothers and adoptive families, she saw the trauma, stress, as well as corruption and mishandling of this fragile process. Anne…
I read recently about a girl who found a mentor at her church who became her sounding board and connection to sanity. This relationship continued into adulthood, as she mined her mentor for nuggets of advice based on her lived experience. She even hosted her mentor in Europe when she was living abroad. (1) Mentoring relationships…
Dr. Adam Anthony began life as an adoptee from foster care. After getting his education, he centered on the importance he saw in the relationship of a mentor. He had benefitted from being connected to mentors over the course of his life. Now, armed with his own experience and all he has learned, he seeks…
My relationship with my name has been complicated over the years. The name came to be assigned to me at birth by my mother, who wanted to mash together Charlotte and a piece of her own name. Hence, I have been bestowed a name that requires me to pronounce it three times at each introduction,…
I have thought a lot about coaching and how it can benefit people. For most of my life, I have attempted to come alongside the parents and young adults I have known to help them develop meaningful goals and be their cheerleader through setbacks and successes. Over this time, I have seen how their experiences, especially within their families, have affected this trajectory. If your life has been touched by adoption or foster care, whether you experienced these as a child or a parent, they can change the way you face goals and life. I understand this nuance, not just from my own world, but from years of relationships and research from perspectives outside my own. Let me come alongside you. I will respect your experience and your path and be your cheerleader as we move toward a life you can only imagine.
As I have been podcasting and writing over the past few years, I have seen the devastation ignorance can bring to people touched by adoption. Adoptees feel alone and misunderstood; adoptive parents don’t get space to grieve or admit mistakes. First parents aren’t heard at all. To make things better, we need to try new things, face our flaws and knowledge gaps, and learn the difference between reality and the flowery stories we tell ourselves.
The courses I have put together are my attempt to help narrow this gap. I have pulled from my experience, research, and the people who have allowed me access to their personal journeys and ideas.
When I have listened to adoptees, so often they have felt that their adoptive parents didn’t allow them to be who they fully were. Their ethnic and genetic identity was often brushed aside. In that light, my first course is aimed at helping adoptive parents see where their children are developmentally and, with that understanding, think about creative approaches for talking to them about adoption. There is space to journal about their thoughts and ideas, and options are offered for dealing with issues their children might face when confronted about this topic.
My next course is the first in a series about Adoption history, how that past has affected our current state of affairs, and what some creative ideas for the future. I am separating this course into four topics, the first of which is Adoption Paperwork. As dry and intimidating as this sounds, the odd combination of access and secrecy to personal information regarding adoption across the country can make the difference between health and illness, security and exclusion for many adoptees.
I am happy to offer certificates of completion for those who need education credits for adoption or foster care purposes.
By Charlyn Spiering on July 23
My kids’ most-requested vacation destination happens to be a tiny town in the Midwest where the tourist attraction for them is their aunts, uncles, and cousins. This isn’t always a trip that is emotionally easy for all of us. It is wonderful that all of the kids feel connected to family and proud of their heritage, even my adopted kids. But as much as we want them to, things don’t always go smoothly with any family. There can be times when worldviews clash, when strong personalities make disruptive choices, or when large groups have difficulty making decisions. For adoptees, family times can also be a reminder of the members that are not present. In all the excitement, I find that quiet times for self-care stolen away from the fun can make for valuable memories as well.
Adoption Uncovered 